parenting, Uncategorized

When love becomes the reason, we fly with kings tonight and come down with an Empire of our own

So, updates since my last post. I’m not sure where to start. I wanted to say thank you first of all! I don’t really know what I was expecting to achieve by putting it out there for everyone to see, but I certainly wasn’t expecting so many of you to read it, and to get so involved with it. It really means a lot that you’re all coming on this journey with me and that you seem genuinely interested in what’s going on with my little family. I read all of your comments and advice and have taken it all on board in order to try different things. Knowing that you all went through or are all going through the same thing really helps me see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even though it may be a long way off.


The last time I wrote, I had spent four or five nights on my sofa. I can’t remember how many exactly as the days and nights all blur into one. My aim after that was to get her upstairs, for some reason she seemed to hate it. I would take her up, asleep I might add, and she would wake and not go back to sleep. How does she know she’s upstairs?! Anyway, I set up the spare room and put her Moses basket in, changing mat and bottles for he night and had a go. I woke up in a panic an hour and fifteen minutes later wondering what was going on! She had actually gone to sleep. I actually went in and woke the boyfriend up at 5.45am as I was so happy. She had done quite well throughout the night, and I hadn’t had to take her downstairs. The next few nights were like this and I really thought that we were getting somewhere. Of course I was wrong. Two night in a row, I would put her down, and she would sleep, but became a very noisy sleeper. It was like being next to a motorbike or something. It was constantly, all night, despite the fact that her bloody eyes were closed! She was grumbling, moaning, straining and I definitely couldn’t sleep through it.

Yesterday I took her to get weighed and tried to speak to the unhelpful health visitor. I explained she had trapped wind and that I wasn’t getting any sleep- basically asking for help/advice. She told me to stop pumping her full of chemicals, such as dentinox and infacol and told me I must make sure I’ve weaned her off of the comfort milk by the time she was twelve weeks, or I would make her lactose intolerant. She also asked ‘what makes you presume it’s trapped wind’- nothing besides the fact your colleague told me it was! She basically told me to get over it and suck it up. Thanks for your help. I was also discharged from the midwife on the same day. She asked me if I was depressed. I told her no, it’s lack of sleep. She was happy with my answer.


The day was pleasant however, she had some nice naps and good feeds, but after Troy went up to bed at 8.15pm, she started to cry quite suddenly, so I made her a bottle while she was screaming (obviously I wasn’t going quick enough for her). I have her the bottle, which she has but cried while having it. She screamed for another hour, then for my own sanity I woke Troy up. He took her and told me to go to bed. I had been looking forward to Friday all week, as its my chance at really sleep- more than 2.5 hours in a row. She still wouldn’t settle so eventually he took her out in the car, he was gone a couple of hours at least, but it seemed to send her to sleep. Once she came home (the second time) she stayed settled. I came down at 6am so he could go to bed. She was asleep until 6.30am, I gave her a bottle and she’s been asleep on me ever since (I can’t be bothered to argue with her and out her in the Moses)

So now I have even more questions. Has she got colic? Did she just want a bottle that much she worked herself up then didn’t know how to settle? Silent reflux is another one being thrown in there. All the symptoms are so similar, it’s impossible to know, but I just want an answer! Whatever happens between now and Monday, I’m going to make her an appointment at the doctors as I don’t see her symptoms as being ‘normal’. If anyone has any magical answers, then I welcome them! I’ve ordered some Dr Browns bottles as a lot of people seem to be using them. Hopefully they’ll make at least a tiny bit of difference.

I don’t feel better for having sleep either- I think I’m too tired for that, and I’m never going to catch up on it now. It’s gone passed that stage unfortunately.


What else has been going on this week? I went to play netball on Monday. I knew I shouldn’t have, as I needed to wait for my six week check, but I had only delivered three weeks before. However, I really needed to go out and do something I enjoy. It knackered me out well and truly but I had a good time. I might play again on Monday, but I’ll have to see how my body is.

Thursday was the dentist. I’ve had tooth ache for two years (yes I know I’m w dental nurse) but it’s a problem tooth that needed root canal but wouldn’t numb up. I went to a sister practice in Wollaton and had it done privately, and to my amazement he managed to numb me up and carry out the first part of the treatment which was two hours long. I have another two hour appointment next week. Waaah!

I’m currently saving up so I can attend melt first weekend convention in over five years. It will be Starfurys ‘Survival’ and will celebrate the television show ‘the 100’ and film ‘the Hunger Games’. It’s the 100 I’m going for. I literally can’t wait, we’re trying to save for gold tickets, so hopefully they won’t sell out just yet. Great guests have been announced and I can’t wait to see so many friends that I haven’t seen for years.

It’s also premier season, so I’ve got that to keep me occupied in the day time. The first two episodes of How To Get Away With Murder have been brilliant as was Chicago PD. It’s not long until the rest of my shows come back either, so if you don’t hear from me for 9 months, then it’s because I’ve gone into TV hibernation. It was nice knowing you all.

Thea is still putting on weight, despite her outburst. She’s gained another 13oz this week placing her st 10lb2oz. I love little porky babies! I think she’ll be growing out of her new born clothes soon ๐Ÿ˜ž

I think that’s about it for now, unless I can think of anything else to add in-

Hope you’re all well ๐Ÿ˜Š

Siaan X