I’m Pretty Sure My Child Hates Me

Or wants me dead… 

Does anyone else’s child try to constantly smother them, beat them up, or gouge their eyes out? Mine does. All the time. You may think I’m over reacting. I think not. 

Please see evidence provided. 

Exhibit A: 

Exhibit B: 

Exhibit C: 

Okay, so this is my mother, but I think it still counts as trying to kill someone.

Exhibit D: 

Exhibit E: 

Exhibit F: 

Exhibit G: 

Yes, I am in fact under there somewhere.

Exhibit H: 

Exhibit I: 

Can’t take a piss in peace

Exhibit J: 

Daddy sometimes gets it too

Exhibit K: 

Can’t take a poop in peace

Exhibit L:

Exhibit M: 

Exhibit N: 

Sometimes I get smothered in kisses.

Exhibit O: 

Exhibit P:

Exhibit Q: 

Exhibit R: 

Exhibit S:

Exhibit T:

Please note how she’s laughing whilst trying to suffocate me.

So, things I’ve learnt from this

1: My child really does hate me. 

2: I wear my dressing gown more than I should. Even when I’m dressed. 

Hope you’ve had a good laugh at my expense. 

Siaan & Thea xxx

Oh, P.S. Pretty should I could have done the alphabet two fold but it many photos on this phone!


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